A few days back, I was part of a silent retreat “Head 2 Heart”, organized by Sahaj Foundation in Bir district, Himachal Pradesh, India.There, despite trying a lot, I wasn’t able to maintain silence as there were other people talking. Also, I was feeling like connecting with some of the amazing people I had around. This made me question the balance between being silent and connecting with people, both equally important aspects of life. I decided to start speaking with my fellow participants in order to understand the balance better and also, strive towards finding it.
As I was breaking the rules of the retreat, I shared my decision with the organizers of the retreat. I wanted them to understand my experiment and also, wanted their feedback on the same. Ashish, one of the organizers and a good friend, retorted to my reasoning with a beautiful sentence which summarized all the thoughts within me; He simply said: ” Nakul, the ultimate stage would be when we would be silent even while speaking”.
The more I think of this, the more I find it appropriate for life(esp. mine); Think of it, only a Jnana yogi(one who walks the path of knowledge) can attain and maintain perfect silence and seclusion for they live by their decision to stand aside and refuse to take part in any form of Maya(material world). However, for most of us who are still attached to something or another, who still have illusions of being in control, the only way forward is attempting to find silence amidst all the chaos.
Being totally silent requires going all the way, giving it all up; for there is no half way of doing it, you can’t stay with family, loved ones and not talk; If you stay in the material world, you will be involved someway or the other. Also, the opposite of it, i.e, being totally involved in the world isn’t the way too, for one loses his/her’s sense of individuality by being fully immersed in it all.To find one’s essence, one has to look within, for which silence is a must;
Thus, finding the right balance(for ourselves) between talking/connecting to people and Maintenance of Silence is extremely important. In this age(yuga), where most of us are destined to live the homely(grashtya) way of live, this I believe, might be the only thread holding us from falling deep into the worldly affairs(maya-jaal). Reaching such a stage would indeed be beautiful.
P.S: I would love to hear from you all if you have found the right balance for yourselves OR your views on either aspects of the topic. Regards 🙂
Just A Crazy Dreamer 
I really liked this thought provoking post. Let’s just get real. Being human comes with so much baggage. It’s like we’re on a trip. The only problem is what do we pack in our baggage.
I’m glad that you chose to “break” the rules. There’s always this idea that we are breaking the rules. Just for once I’d like to check my baggage and be plain old me. Plain old me who wants to connect with people who can help feed my intellect… or not.
haha… Yes, same’s the case here. There are times when i just want to be the plain old normal me.. I believe i have gone a bit too much on the crazy side… This experiment was an attempt by me to come back to being normal and connecting…. Thank you for dropping by and sharing your views… 🙂
You’re welcome!
Creating connections is vital. And when with other people, I try to follow the 80/20 rule: listen 80% of the time, talk 20%. I don’t always succeed, but it’s a worthwhile goal.
I find that I can connect more fully with someone when I’m mostly listening to them, rather than spewing at my own mouth. There is truth in being silent, a sincere honesty, but it’s not something that should be practiced 24/7 for reasons you stated.
Yes.. True.. You have said it all… I initially used to talk a lot, then went totally silent.. So, in both cases, i was in the extremes while the answer has always been in the middle path…. I like the 80/20 rule too… Thank you for dropping by and commenting.. Regards.. 🙂
If both people follow the “80/20” rule, is there a conversation taking place?
Hmmm… Interesting point raised.. There can be no conversation if both people follow the 80/20 rule… We need one talker out there for every listener.. 🙂
😉
After reading your comment, you know for probably the first time ever, i don’t mind being the talker… There have been so many instances wherein i have been made to feel guilty for speaking more than the other person..
Some of us may be students. Some of us may be teachers.
I suppose it depends on the situation?
Then, again – some do go on and on. I suppose it depends on what each of us has to say.
Hmmmm…
I think we switch places from time to time.
Haha… Yes… but that’s good how it should be right? Being the talker or the listener all the time won’t get one anywhere..
Even the simplest of minds can be a teacher, sometimes. Or, used as a teacher.
They can say the most profound things – at exactly the right time.
Has that ever happened to you?
Yes… A lot infact.. I was a teacher for 2 years and the kids ended up teaching me more through their innocent statements than i could have possibly taught them.. 🙂
I know exactly what you mean. I am a teacher now (for the military), and I feel exactly the same way about my students.
What do you teach? I taught kids from grade 3 to 8..
I’m a music instructor – actually. High stress. The first day of my vacation, I laid my head on the kitchen table and nearly cried.
I wish I was kidding, but I’m not.
Haha… Kids can do that to one… there were so many times i felt like pulling my hair out while teaching too…. 🙂
Oh, it wasn’t the kids. Love the kids.
Long story 🙂
Oh Ok… would want to hear it sometime… 🙂
You wouldn’t believe it. You would absolutely not believe it.
Now, am more intrigued about it…
This is a lovely post.. it’s intriguing to think that silence can happen in the depths of speech.. to me that implies receptivity to the world / the other.
Yes… its really interesting. The state is not only tough to maintain but also sustain but one nonetheless worth aspiring for… Thank you for stopping by and commenting.. 🙂
This article is amazing. Growing up we called this, “talking loud and not saying nothing.” Kind of like talking but say nothing of value. I think social media is making life this way today…
hmmm… Yes… “Talking loud and not saying nothing” is opposite extreme of the stage i have written about in the blog…Being silent amidst all the chaos has been more relevant in the age of social media, where as you have correctly described so many unneeded conversations happen day in and out.. 🙂
I’d like to practice more silence, but so many people insist on talking to me, and they seem to expect me to participate in conversation. For me the trick is figuring out how to be silent and diplomatic at the same time.
Maybe its how we are each wired that matters most and being able to live with that truth and integrity? While I love people and connecting at times, I now know (after a recent retreat that included silence for an extended time) that I need to carve out silence and solitude if I am to be a healthy and loving person in my relationships… forced to be with people too much drains the love from me. Others may be in different circumstances where silence is a large part of their life and finding ways of being with people is what brings them alive. We need to know ourselves and then live from that knowledge. Easier said than done but I’m trying. In the silence is where the voice of truth speaks to me so I’m in training to be and to listen more often.
I am extremely sorry for missing out on replying on this comment. Thank you so much for sharing your honest thoughts with me, I really appreciate it. Yes, I agree its really tough to be able to find the balance of connecting with people and also, taking out time to be silent with self and also, once found to be able to hold onto that balance and not go overboard with one. I am myself going through this challenge. Its tough but worth it,right.. Take Care.. 🙂
Thanks for your kind and honest words of response. All the best as you lean into what you are learning. ❤
Thank you.. Take Care.. 🙂