My first spiritual experience resulted from my losing myself in dance on the b’tful Sufi qawaal Man Kunto Maula of Amir Khusrao, sung by the master Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan himself. I was so immersed in the melodious rhythms of the qawaal that beyond a point, I didn’t even realize where or how my body was flowing. I had simply surrendered to the music, letting the rhythm carry me. I didn’t realize when i lost track of the song or the dance itself and started experiencing a phase wherein i simply couldn’t distinguish anymore between myself and the universal energy, it was almost as if my physical boundaries had mysteriously vanished and all that remained was a wave/flow of energy. Sound crazy right? It freaked me out too but the wave of serenity which followed this(it lasted around a week) was pure bliss. The moment after the wave had passed was simply beautiful, I remember running to the window so as to be near an open space. Standing there, i simply bowed my head and paid gratitude to the energy which had just shown me a glimpse of itself.
Now,a year since the experience i believe i have grown enough to be able to attempt it’s articulation(though its essence can’t be captured with words). As i understand it, I had gotten so into the song and dance that i was fully in the moment, simply doing it. Also, as there were no motives attached to the dance nor any desires of an end to be attained from it, thus the act in itself was both the means and end. The dance was performed simply for it was what i felt like doing in that moment. It just happened, there was no planning or thoughts behind it. I neither wanted it to happen, nor did i not want it to happen.
I now understand how simply and beautifully each and every moment of the dance was complete in itself. What i experienced was nothing else than the state referred to as nothingness or the state of simply being as it is, fully in a moment, with no desire of reaching anywhere or attaining anything. I was fortunate to experience some moments of it before my mind came fighting back with its useless attempts of controlling and shaping things its way. I now understand that an enlightened soul is simply one who is able to sustain the state of being all the time, i.e he has his mind and senses in such beautiful control so as to be as it is all the time. I am really lucky to have experienced it and i pay my utmost gratitude to all the things out there who in some way or the other aided me and made this possible. Also, i sincerely hope i have done justice with the articulation. Would love to hear if any of you have had similar experiences.
P.S: Being in the moment can happen with any form of action,be it sitting,standing, walking, etc. In my case it was Dance. 🙂
2 thoughts on “Experiencing Nothingness through Dancing”
This is beautifully written, Nakul. You have done justice to that experience. 🙂