Around 6 months back, i had written a post about the different hypocrisies which reside within a person’s nature and keep revealing themselves from time to time as one strives ahead in their quest of the real self. Observing these in my own nature from time to time intrigues me a lot. It’s very interesting to actually just sit back, detaching yourself from yourself for sometime and seeing how a particular thought has emerged all by itself out of seemingly nowhere and played out its role in shifting your behavior and nature. What intrigues me more is my own reaction upon the emergence of one such thought in my self. I will be today sharing one such observation about a particular hypocritical thought of mine which led me towards a better understanding of how my mind functions under such a pretext and also of how just the emergence of one wrong thought can send one stumbling down into a vicious circle of hypocrisy.
So, somewhere in mid-December, i was finally able to get the much desired rhythm of following my personal routine perfectly along with my work one. After doing it properly for more than a week, i developed this uncanny sense of confidence about myself(in a very good way,not out of arrogance). This confidence further pushed my efficiency in working and in the time i saved up due to this, i began feeling an urgent need of doing more. Its here while i was trying to figure out things that i could do more that i fell into a vicious trap: Among the many thoughts that came to my mind, one that intrigued me a lot was of the HOW(the process) behind someone inspiring someone else into doing more. This thought in itself was not wrong in any sense and post-reading about any leader, i had always sat down and reflected on what exactly was what they did that got so many people inspired to follow their path.
Further trying to work on this thought, i had a conversation with my project manager wherein i shared with her that the reason which i saw behind me not inspiring people was the fact that i barely spoke with anyone. I have always been a loner and in the last 1.5 of extreme hard work and devotion towards work and personal development, i have gone more into my shell. I further told my PM that i wasn’t sharing the way i thought, worked or reflected with anyone else. Moving further on, i began to now look for ways to interact with people. However, little did i realize how inorganically i was going about all of this: think of it like i was talking to people for the purpose of inspiring instead of just having a normal good conversation. Now, any of this thoughts individually is not wrong: however, once you step back and see from where they are emerging you will see how it together couples up to be extremely vicious.
A person who’s working for the pleasure of work itself doesn’t need to go around to inspire anyone, people around will themselves get inspired by seeing him work. Also, when i thought of the fact that me or something that I are doing could inspire someone, the thought itself was borne out of a sense of supremacy for myself or my work. Think of it: I was somewhere unconsciously feeling that the work i was doing or the way i was living was better than other’s in some way and i had to share it with them so as to get them to do it too. There can be nothing more wrong than this thought, the moment i have this in my mind: bang goes away any the genuinity of any talks of equality by me, for my own actions would be speaking a different language.
I learnt a lot of valuable lessons from this observation: I always knew that it’s one work/action which speaks up and makes others believe and the thoughts are useful only for the purpose of propelling one’s own actions forward. Also, i realized how easily one can come under the illusion that his/her action is above in someway to other’s and this can itself defeat the whole purpose and intention behind that action in the first place. Infact,the very fact that i thought of inspiring people was born out somewhere from a sense of superiority within,may be unconsciously, and thus was totally wrong.
A true leader will just focus on maintaining the highest of purity in all: thought, word and deed and the people around him would be inspired if they have to by seeing his/her’s actions. Now that i look back and think, i find it really amusing as to how easily can one small thought borne out of a bias can send one stumbling down the vicious cycle of hypocrisy without one even realizing it. I am glad i could catch this in time and bounce back on my track. Ending with a thought for all of to ponder on:
“Your work is not to drag the world kicking and screaming into a new awareness. Your job is to simply do your work: Sacredly, Silently and Secretly.. and those with eyes to see and ears to hear, will respond. ” – The Arcturians
One thought on “The entangling hypocrisies”
Yes, contemplating on our behaviour, and being conscious about our thoughts before we turn them into actions is a great way to developing the self. 🙂
I always enjoy reading your posts, since they are so honest, and so dil-se! 🙂