I want to strive towards being a nobody, i don’t want any fame, any recognition, any sort of credit whatsoever for anything that i might have done or might do. I simply want my individuality to totally disappear, to merge with the whole, to be one with it. The yearning to be one with my source is reaching crazy levels now and also dawning upon me is an understanding that whatever i do or am able to do is never a function of just my being alone, but is in-fact, a product of the getting together of efforts of so many different people in so many varied scenarios. All the efforts that are put into ensuring that I am able to make mine is so silently and selflessly done that it almost for some time made me disillusioned enough to believe that it was I who was doing it All.
However, soon i realized that i was nothing but a mere medium, a vehicle being used for a specific purpose. Don’t be confused, yes its me who is the doer and its my purpose of life to be doing what i am doing. However, the universe has so beautifully taken care of all the other factors so as to make it possible for me to be able to do what i do. Thus, how can i possibly ever seek recognition for doing something in which i have been aided by so many different beings/factors(universe), beings/factors of whose existence i may not even be aware of. The Ego automatically disappears and what remains is simply the understanding of being a vessel, of fulfilling my purpose, of making efforts towards singing my song with utmost purity, of striving towards being a NOBODY.
P.S: The fact that i still want to be it, is an irony in itself for until i want something, it still means that i am very much trapped under the illusion of being in control which directly translates to a lack of faith in the universe and hence the inability to totally let go.