A Life-changing moment

There are moments that define the course of life for an individual, I recently came across one such moment for myself and even though its very difficult coming in terms with writing about the big questions it has posed for me as an individual, I would still write so as to face it rather than ignore it altogether.
The day had been perfect, had gotten up on time and made it to school early(after a lot of days), then I had this weird amazing amount of energy within that took the teaching that day to another level. My kids were all engaged, invested and even pushing me to teach them at a faster pace. After school I had an amazing time studying the movement of IAC at Ramlila maidan. This was followed by dinner at Karim’s with best buddies Nipin and Kanika. It just couldn’t get any better.
But, as I came out of Karim’s to take the rickshaw back to the metro, my eyes fell on something, something that not me nor anybody in this world should witness. Something that was so horrible and so gruesome that you would just not want to believe that it could be true. I saw a lady begging whose eyes had been destroyed by putting acid all over her face, the burn marks were still so clearly visible. I would never forget the look of utter indifference on the lady’s face. I would also never forget the worst part of it all, the fact that the world was moving about her without even a glance, without even a shudder of fear in seeing the ultimate horrible yet true face of our society. Have we as people really fallen to this low a level, is there no humanity left at all, how else would someone be so cruel so as to destroy someone’s eyes just for the purpose of begging, or was it the lady herself who had fallen on such horrible days that she had no other option left, no it couldn’t have possibly been the other way, no one can ever do that to them self. Then, the big question arises: Who can possibly do this to someone. Have not been able to find an answer to this solution and it has been 2 weeks since the incident.
The way back was horrible for me, it was as if the face of the lady had just stuck with me, I just couldn’t stop thinking of her, her life, family. The more I thought about her, the more helpless I felt, the more I hated myself for not being able to do something about it. The tears were flowing continuously and Nipin asked me to be strong. I didn’t know if by being strong he meant that such incidents should just stop affecting, Gandhi had said you can’t change the world ever and this made me wonder if I couldn’t change it, what the hell could I possibly do about it. I am trying to be the change I want to see in the world but how would that prevent or stop those barbaric people from continuing with this. Nipin further told me about the child trafficking in Mumbai wherein children’s eyes are destroyed so that they can be sold off as beggars for a petty sum of 5000.
How is all of this going on in a big metropolitan city like Mumbai? What was the fault of the kids that they have to witness such an horrible incident at such a tender age? What was that lady’s fault or who were the people who could do that to her? If there is a god, then where is he and how can he allow such an act ever? Can something this horrible ever be justified, how can the people who do it sleep at night or look at themselves in the mirror or look at their kids? How is the all-merciful god allowing such horrible acts to take place? My friends tell me that I ask way too many and way too big questions for my age. I don’t really know what questions must one ask at what age and as to how maturity affects one’s reasoning power, all that I know is that you can see something either as right or wrong. If you see it as wrong, you can either be indifferent about it or choose to do something about it. I hate to accept the fact that I am being indifferent about it, would say that I am just running away from it trying to justify to myself that I am way too small for handling such a big issue while the bottom line is: I am just running away and I hate myself for that. All I can content my heart with as of now, is that deep inside somewhere I know a solemn promise has been made, a promise that I know I will fulfill for sure SOMEDAY……….

One thought on “A Life-changing moment

  1. very touching,i had also gone through such experience in Varanasi and Aligarh,a lot to share in next month when i will be in Delhi..

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